Firstly I must thanks Mr Derek and the whole blog team ( and AirAsia of course ) for the " So you wanna be a pilot " blog competition . It opens up an opportunity for those who are pursuing their dream to be one step closer to what they are aiming for.

Frankly speaking this is my first time of my applying to become a cadet pilot as I am only 18 this year however this dream has been in my heart for long . I am doing my Form Six ( upper Six ) this year when I started to apply for this. I had wanted this so much thus I had put in a lot of effort in it . Most of my friends were very astonished when they heard that I am applying for cadet in this year and had put so much time and effort in it as I am having my STPM by the end of this year . Even my teachers are shocked to hear this and some of them really can't understand why am I doing this in my important year ( STPM year ) . Well , why should I make myself so busy that I had to divide both my attention in cadet pilot and in STPM ? Why don't I just finish my STPM first and apply for it later ? Many people had asked me the very same questions . My answer is just simple but it is the only answer : I like flying so much and this is my dream , one and only , and it has been in my heart for so long . I was unable to apply for it when I had finished my SPM or when I was in my Lower six as I haven't reached 18 years old by that time . And now , I am 18 already . The chance that I had waited for so long is now here . Right in front of me . So why should I wait ? No matter what is the route that I am taking now , being a pilot is always my aim . I can't afford the high fees to a private flying school and there is no such a so-called pilot course in Universities , so whatever the route that I am taking now ( for example now is STPM ) is just a back up and additional educational background in my way in pursuing my dream to be a pilot . So why should I wait ?

I was so thrilled when I found out that I am one of the 35 shortlisted in the " So you wanna become a pilot " blog competition . I then waited anxiously for the news to attend the first stage test . I waited anxiously and until June , there was news released saying that there will be a first stage test held on 21 June . I was so thrilled that I checked my e-mail inbox for more than ten times everyday , but I didn't get any news . I saw the bloggers attended the test one after one , in 21 June , 27 June and 28 June . Finally 28 june has passed . I received nothing . I knew that most of the bloggers had already attended their first stage . I was worried is I was left out . I left comments in the blog yet nobody can give me a clear answer . I e-mailed the cadet pilot selection team everyday yet no reply . I was quite worried yet I believed Air Asia will do as what they had promised , that is to give all the 35 bloggers a chance . They promised , so I waited. Anxiously but with hope .

Finally the day that I had waited for so long came . I managed to have a chance to attend the first stage test ( written test ) on 18 July . I just kept my STPM books aside and put all my heart and soul in it . I must make it through . I told myself .
I was a bit nervous but soon got into situation when I saw Captain Suresh , Captain Dinesh and some other captain's friendly smile . The test went on well for me , as it was what I had prepared hard for . Thankfully I was only one and a half year from my SPM when I attended the written test .
When I walked out of the academy , I told myself , I will come back shortly . Shortly . And I did it . I then revisited my beloved academy on 16 August , about one month after my written test . This time I am having my psychomotor test .

Frankly speaking I am the type of girl who seldom play games . No , I am sorry , I like games a lot , I meant I like sports a lot , but I seldom play computer games . However , I got a Microsoft Flight Simulator 2004 and practiced it very often . I like the feeling very much . The training sessions are using Cessna and I felt like I am in the cockpit of the Cessna itself when I played the Simulator . I finally managed to make pretty take offs and landings using that simulator .Thus I went to the second stge interview happily and full of confidence .

I thought that everything is under my expectations but it was not . From a usual Logitech joystick to a six button joystick , from a 13" inch desktop screen to a 50" inch plasma TV , from a simulator to a some sort like PS2 game , different programme , and the more is , different meters . I know it's my problem but I must confess that I was not used to the meter that I had to refer to . I guess it's some sort like the meter in an airbus , and it's far more different from the meters in a Cessna . In short , everything was out of my expectations , totally out . There was too much differences between them .

For the take off part , in trial , I forgot to put up my landing gear . Then in first attempt , I failed to control both my angle and altitude . Then in second attempt , I failed to control my altitude . In landing part , I haven't got to know what was going on in my trial and my plane crashed in less than two minutes when the game started . In my first trial , when I looked down to find the button to decrease throttle and put down my landing gear , it crashed . In second attempt , I managed not to crashed it but I was not able to flare and the system just jumped out .... In all my six attempts I didn't even have the word " clear " when the game ends .... In ALL six attempts the system just jumped out half way ..... no any marks ......

I know I really did it extremely bad this time ..... So sad ..... I had prepared for so long but everything was just out of my expectations but I know that I had tried your best for it. No matter how I feel now, the result cannot be changed so I just accept it. Living in this world, we may not always get what we want, but at least I had tried my best to achieve it, then I won't feel regret about it in the future.

I really hope that I would be given one more chance but I know that this would be unfair for other applicants so I didn't asked Captain Dinesh about it . Anyway I still hope that I would be given a chance to proceed to the final interview . ( will Captain Suresh or Captain Dinesh read this ? haha )
Whatever the result is , I would never give up and I will apply again for the next intake as I want this too much . I would never let this failure ( if I can't proceed to final ) to let me down . Being a pilot is always my dream . I will constantly apply and apply till the day when I get it . I can see it . It is my future . I am and I will work towrards it . I want to be a pilot . I want to be a pilot . I want to be a pilot !!!!

So I am waiting for any good news now . Hope that I would be given a chance . I know that I am not the best but I have been working towards the best . I dream to be a pilot . I want to be a pilot . I aim to be a pilot . I work to be a pilot . I pray to be a pilot . I will be a pliot . One day . When the day comes , then you will see me fly high up in the air . In the cockpit . Hope that Air Asia can help me realize my dream .

Dream to fly , fly to dream ......

Jessica Lee Suk Tin